can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
