and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
