you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
