also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
