The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
