Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
