hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
