I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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