wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
