i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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