New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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