By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
