yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
