Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
