The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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