I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
