i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
