I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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