You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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