we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
