Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
