Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
