The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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