im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
