We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
