I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
