I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The ass gains better be worth it
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