he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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