What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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