Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
