i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
birth control should be required to get into college
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
