so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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