Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
