just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
