Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
