In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
