I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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