the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
