I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
