I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
