Dual....:-)
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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