Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
