ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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