Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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