That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
