I need help removing her.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
