She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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