i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
