I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my sisters under your porch take her home
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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