I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
