Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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