you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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