You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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