YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
