Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
