Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
