I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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