I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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