last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
