I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
