White coat. Heels.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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