I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize