I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
