You're so nebulous sometimes
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
